For Real

Ticking Time Bomb

With Jaden doing amazing over the last 2 years, meeting milestones and making strides. For someone who I was told would never speak, he can say 12 words and jabbers much more! Once he has surgery on his tongue and lips he will have a much easier time speaking, forming words (I hope), none the less on his second birthday Jaden said the word Happy. This is the perfect word for him because that’s just what he is-happy. About a week later he started sitting up from a laying position for the first time by himself, which we had been working on in therapy for about a year. He is doing amazing.



Jaden



It is hard to not be too complacent day to day with Hydrocephalus and Stroke. Days pass and each day of health is something to be thankful for. Even all the wonderful days are not enough to keep my mind from wondering when will our luck with this shunt run out? Being dependant on a valve and tube for your health is terrifying as a parent. It is very overwhelming emotionally when Jaden gets sick, I try to keep my mind in check by thinking oh it’s a cold, just a bug. But it hard to keep my heart from breaking thinking about a shunt malfunction or infection; the thought of more brain damage, more pain than he has already gone through in his small number of years.

I know this feeling will never go away and Jaden will always face Hydro, Stroke and the life full of complications forever.

Life must go on, how can I look into my sweet babies eyes and feel fear for all the unknown when he is looking at me to make things better, comfort and healing. There is no treatment other than the shunt which is unreliable to say the least. There are no words for the middle of the night, exhaustion that brings tears and prayers to my mind. Sometimes it’s just harder than others to be strong for my kids. Somewhere in there I find a place for the fear and hope for balance.

Love and Health,

Micah and Jaden's Mommy